I didn’t go to the Women's March. I needed to bolster myself instead. I knew that standing in the cold in a crowd would not be smart for me. So I stayed home and wrote and read and drew. I unwound my anxious mind and I worked. I took 10 steps forward and when I got tired, I rested. And then, I came back and worked some more. It buoyed me though. To see those people standing in solidarity. It’s not unproblematic of course, but it’s something.
I thought about how Obama’s introversion is perceived to have impacted his presidency. The suggestion is that could he have gotten more done if he were to have schmoozed more with congress. I don’t think that’s true. The Republicans were never going to cooperate.
More than that though, I don’t think I’ve ever heard the inverse. The downsides of an extroverted president out cow-towing, neglecting the deep, thoughtful work of leadership. Extroversion is still valued more than introversion, at least when it comes to politics.
Somewhere in the middle of my work, I grabbed a cold chunk of chicken from the fridge and ate it like an animal.
The brittle wintery light faded from the sky. Working through a list feels so damn good.
I spent the first week back at work trying to elongate that relaxed feeling of the Christmas break. I made coconut buns. Well, they were supposed to be coconut buns but they didn't rise and were much too dense. I thought I'd rubbed in the butter enough but turns out, I did not. In every third bite, you’d find a little pocket of salty butter. Not ideal. But of course, I can't throw them out. You can't waste food. So, I toast them so they feel less stale and douse then in raspberry jam (bought especially for this purpose) and sprinkle with coconut. Raspberry jam tastes like childhood.
I cleaned the apartment, cooked huervos rancheros (very hard to spell, very yummy to eat), read a full book and started another.